Wednesday, December 15, 2004

How can a game of hockey get to me?? played like shit today.. NO i think its worst than shit more like the bacteria that lives in the shit!!! grrr... i can't stand it.. why can't i just play one good game?? BUT at least i didnt cuss today.. thank goodness!!! played forward today and the position's kinda new to me.. kept on running to the back cos i'm so used to playing left back!! grrr.. the yuhua girls really made me run circles around them!! felt utterly foolish.. seriously i think a game of hockey can bring my self- esteem down to negative zero!!! sigh sigh sigh.. physical wasn't that tiring today so i should have enough energy to play games!! why oh why can't i just play ONE GOOD GAME.. i don't think i'm asking for much just ONE.. hockey just totally frustrates the hell out of me..

i hate it when i can't pass the ball properly
i hate it when manjit doesnt say anything when its clearly my fault
i hate it when i disappoint my team mates
i hate it when i lose the ball
i hate it when i cant run with the ball
i hate the smug looks of the girls when they get the ball from me
i hate it when i miss a block
i hate it when i miss a good pass from my team mates
i hate it when i dont know what to do
i hate it when my palms get sweaty
i hate it when i get nervous
i hate it when people look at me like i'm a loser
i hate it when i make a good pass and manjit doesnt see it
i hate the feeling of utter dejectedness after a game
i hate feeling envious of the other girls
i hate it when i know that i can do it but i dont
i hate myself for playing so pathetically
but most of all
i hate hockey but i love the game

Gosh i do feel better... much much better.. Today's just isn't one good day i guess.. went to eat at SMU together with denise and xinghui and the sambal dory fillet sure was good and that kinda brightened up my day a little.. anyway on the way home, me and xinghui were on bus and there was this old ah pek and guess what that old perv was doing.. he was recording me and xinghui's conversation!!! i mean seriously why would anyone want to do such a thing?? he was really gross.. and xinghui got so pissed that she wanted to use our hockey sticks to smack the balding man's head.. i tell you when your feeling down, everything that happens ain't good!! i hope i dont see that sick man ever ever again.. i feel so disgusted everytime i think why he wants our voices for.. eew eew eew...

xinghui i hate that old fart!! how can he do that to us.. i'm super traumatised i tell you.. he was super gross and poor babe he was on your bus!! sigh.. thank goodness we didnt do anything stoopid huh.. felt like clobbering that bastard!!

denise i'll miss you when your away!! but dont worry we'll spend the count down together ok?? oooh i think a particular someone likes u.. kidding kidding...

lydia darling it was really good seeing you today and i'm happy you got your pretty top!! cross fingers for bung nite alright??

audrey babe!!! i keep on saying that i'll call but i havent been able to find the time.. sick la.. anyway how about sat?? are you gonna ask julian along??